Most judges outside of clear physical abuse do not seek to remove children from one of their parents. Children define themselves psychologically by both parents regardless of whether one parent is painted as “good” or “bad”. That said, it can be incredibly challenging to receive the concerns of a child who is experiencing the non-bruising reality of damaging emotional or psychological abuse without seeming to alienate the child from that parent.

Child Advocacy Centers in the area suggest to parents that they meet a child’s shared concerns with the following phrase “Thank you for telling me. You are very brave. I will make sure the right people know.” Then as easily as you can manage shift the conversation away from the other spouse. If the spouse is truly disordered, abusive, or even if they have a personality disorder the child will need a supportive counselor, psychologist or psychiatrist to help them deal with the emotional damage. If the other spouse simply has opinions and parenting practices that differ from your own, it’s best to tell your child that you and your spouse are different, having different preferences and that neither of you is good or bad, just both trying to do what you feel is in their best interest.

A child mostly wants and needs to hear that no matter how bad the actions of one or both parents, that both parents love them and are only doing what they feel is in their best interest. Avoid at all costs openly disparaging a parent leaving any clarifications on bad behavior to professionals. For cases involving custody, divorce and that need a particular standard of care for the welfare of children, contact the Law Offices of Brian Dasinger, serving both Mobile, Baldwin and surrounding counties.

The Law Offices of Brian A. Dasinger
22811 U.S. Hwy 98
Suite 3
Fairhope, AL 36532

Phone
(251) 928-5588

Fax
(251) 928-8855